PJO Character Interviews
by LaceyRide
Summary: Read as I kidnap, interview, make fun of, freak out, and bribe everyone's favorite and not-so-favorite PJO characters. Review questions for me to ask! T 'cause I'm paranoid. Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson.
1. The Kidnapping

**Lacey: Woohoo! My first PJO fanfic! I really need to add 'fanfic' to my dictionary, oh well I'll do it next time. Anywho, he he anywho that's such a funny word. So blah blah blah, a bunch of stuff that normal people say in their first fanfic in a fandom. Is fandom the right word? Eh whatever, just read.**

Chapter 1 – The Capture of P & A

_Percy POV_

I'm sitting on the end of the dock next to Annabeth. She is rambling **(A/n: rambling, he he he such a funny word)** about architecture and I am tuning her out and thinking about how beautiful she is.

Suddenly I feel like my stomach is on fire and everything goes black.

_? POV_

Annabeth and Percy were sitting on the dock together. I smile evilly and rub my hands together like one of those bad guys from a movie.

I creep up behind a tree a couple yards from where Percy and Annabeth are sitting. I put my canvas backpack down and pull out my crossbow and a specially designed arrow I call a tranquilizer arrow.

I need a name for my weapon. Oh, I know I'll call it Lullaby, because it puts people to sleep like a lullaby.

I silently load Lullaby with a tranquilizer arrow. I'm a couple yards from Annabeth's left, the perfect position for my plan.

I carefully aim Lullaby. I only have one chance to make my plan work.

I shoot. A tranquilizer arrow grazes Percy and Annabeth's stomachs. They only have a second to panic before they black out.

I put my crossbow back in my backpack and put it over my shoulder. Then I walk over to where Percy and Annabeth are lying unconscious.

I tie ropes around their ankles and wrists. I pull two extra large potato sacks out of my backpack and put Percy in one and Annabeth in the other.

Then I drag them over the river and through the woods. To my car we go.

I put the bodies **(A/n: he he **_**the bodies**_** it sounds so scary) **in the trunk of my car and drive them to my house.

**Lacey: So awesome isn't it? I'm sorry it's short. I have to put an authors note because I didn't have time to say 'R&R' and 'thanks for reading' when I was sneaking away with the bodies. He he he. So thanks for reading.**

**Can everyone please review questions for me to ask Percy and Annabeth? Awesomeness!**

**R&R!**


	2. Did Annabeth Just Swear?

Chapter 2 – Did Annabeth Just Swear?

_Annabeth POV_

I woke up in a room with a metal table and a yellow door, tied to a chair, with a headache and no idea where I was. _Think Annabeth_, I told myself, _what is the last thing you remember?_

Percy groans, but I ignore him.

I think of yesterday. I woke up late and had to rush to get my cabin to breakfast on time. Then we went to morning activities. After that we went to lunch, and then I went down to the lake with seaweed brain. At the lake I told him about my latest designs and then I remember feeling pain. And after that… nothing, I can't remember anything after the canoe lake.

The door opens and a girl walks into the room.

The girl has blonde hair in a pony tail on top of her head, and purple eyes. She's wearing a white ruffled tank top and light skinny jeans. She has a silver bangles and silver heart studs.

"Hey guys!" she says smiling.

She sits down in a chair across from me and Percy. She puts down a giant plate of chocolate cookies. Half of them are blue and the other half aren't.

"Do you want some cookies?"

I just stare at her, what kind of character offers you cookies? Maybe they're poisoned?

"Su-"I cut Percy off by slapping his arm.

The girl smiles, "that's all right you can always take some later."

Then she eats a cookie. Okay, so apparently they're not poisoned.

"I'm Lacey, by the way. I'll be your interviewer for however long you're here."

Lacey snaps her fingers and a laptop appears in front of her.

She looks back up at us "I'm sure you have questions so you can ask them now."

"Why are we here?" I ask her threateningly.

"Oh that one's easy. I kidnapped you so that you guys would answer the reviewer's questions."

"Who are the reviewers? And why didn't you just ask us questions at Camp?" I ask, confused.

"Well this time my reviewers are Megaranger66, angelicdreamer101, ButterflyFlyToMe, Guest, Percabethluvver, Percyluvergirl, Pjofannn, Annabethrocks, and Thekanefamily. Nine reviews, it's so exciting!" WTF? What kind of names are those? Hey, don't look at me like that. I'm allowed to swear in my head, aren't I?

Lacey and Percy were staring at me in shock.

"Annabeth, did you just swear?" Percy asks me.

I feel my cheeks heat up. "Um…"

I hear someone snickering.

I turn my head to glare at Lacey.

"Sorry," she says awkwardly, "so, anyways! We'll start with Guest's questions!"

She reads something from her computer.

"Percy, did you ever get George a rat?"

Percy stares at her dumbly, "Huh?"

Lacey rolls her eyes. "Well, you promised to get George a rat, didn't you?"

Percy nods.

"Did you ever get him one?"

"Well, um, no. But-"

"How could you not get George a rat?" She asks accusingly.

"Well, um… I kind of forgot…"

Lacey glares at Percy "When I let you leave, you _will_ go get George a rat."

"Yes ma'am" Percy mumbles.

"Okay, next question!" She chirps. "What kind of shoes do you wear?"

Why would you ask these questions? Shouldn't she be asking about battle plans and other important stuff?

"Nikes" Percy says confusedly **(A/n: is confusedly a word?)**.

"Why, does wearing Nikes make your powers better?"

"No… I only have control over water. Shoes don't affect my powers."

"So you have water powers?"

"yeah"

"So you're like Aquaman version two-point-oh?"

This girl reminds me of Leo now.

"… sure"

"Next question! Has Percy ever tried to bake cookies?"

I glare at her "Why would my boyfriend try to bake cookies?"

"You know what they say. Every man is secretly a woman."

"um… no, I've never heard that" I say awkwardly.

"Oh" She says.

"So, Annabeth, how many times have you won Capture the Flag?"

How would I know? I've won too many to count. "I'm not sure"

"YOU'RE NOT SURE? HOW CAN YOU NOT BE SURE? YOU DON'T KEEP TALLY MARKS ON THE WALL?"

Gods, what is this girl's problem? "Of course I don't keep tally marks! That would be stupid!"

She glares at me. Her death glare is actually pretty scary, but I won't let her know that.

"Did you ever steal anything from The Stolls?"

I grin evilly.

"Maybe I have maybe I haven't" I tell her mysteriously.

"So, I'm going to let the readers decide what that means, they should feel free to hate me as long as they review questions." She says.

Why does she keep acting like the readers are here?

"So Annabeth, I am giving you the honor of answering the last question from Guest. Can you do the Polka?"

What kind of question is that? "What's the polka?"

Lacey gasps. " _The_ Annabeth Chase doesn't know something? Oh! I have a question for you! Do you know a ton of stuff?"

"Yeah?" subject change much?

"So you're like the internet?"

I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult.

"so people, please read the different ways I can write this story and review your opinion. The options are posted below."

**PLEASE REVIEW HOW I SHOULD CONTINUE THIS STORY!**

I can keep Annabeth and Percy and ask them more questions

I can release Annabeth and Percy and interview Thalia and Nico

I can release Annabeth and Percy and interview Chiron

"Please free us! The blonde girl scares me!" Percy yelled.

Me and Lacey both gave Percy a death glare. We made Percy cower in a corner. I could learn to get along with this Lacey girl.


	3. Percy isn't Freaking Gay

Chapter 3 – Percy isn't freaking gay!

_Percy POV_

"And we're back!"

"How could you? I thought you were our fans!" I yell.

Annabeth looks at me weird. How come Lacey is allowed to talk to the readers and I'm not?

"Yeah, so I explained who you guys were, and Percy's feelings are hurt now." Lacey says.

"You make me sound like a little kid." I mutter.

Lacey frowns, "but I thought you were a little kid."

That's offensive. Annabeth smirks. Hey, she's my girlfriend! She's not supposed to smirk! My girlfriend is a horrible person.

Lacey pins her bangs out of her face with a bobby pin. She smirks when she catches me watching her.

"I know I'm just that amazing aren't I?" She says.

Annabeth glares at her, then at me.

"Anyway, let's start the interview!" Lacey says overenthusiastically. **(A/n: that's a looooooooong word.) **"Thank you to all my reviewers I loved all of your reviews. Our first question is for Annabeth, from Megaranger66. She says 'how dare you insult my name? I'm a Super Sentai/Power Rangers fan. Look it up you jerk.'"

Annabeth frowns cutely.

"When did I insult her name?" She asks cluelessly.

You know last chapter, when you accidentally swore out loud?" Lacey asks.

Annabeth's cheeks turn an adorable color of pink. I squeeze her hand reassuringly under the table.

"Well, that's when." Lace tells her.

Annabeth frowns. "Oh, I guess I'm sorry but I'm not looking it up."

Lace reads something on her computer and smiles like a crazy maniac. "Percy, this one is for you. Have you ever loved Rachel, Thalia, Athena, Artemis, Hera, Luke, Nico or Jason?"

Oh gods, Rachel, was the only one from that whole list I would even think of dating. Thalia was like my cousin. Athena and Artemis were maidens or something, and Athena was my girlfriend's mom. Hera, I hated her. And Luke Nico and Jason? I wasn't freaking gay!

While I spent all that time thinking. Lacey started laughing like crazy, then she fell out of her chair and started rolling on the floor laughing.

"you… should see… your face… so… funny" she somehow manages to say in between laughs.

I wonder if it's possible to die from laughter, because if it is I might have to plan Lacey's funeral. That would really suck for her.

I look over at Annabeth. She looks VERY angry. I think it's healthiest for me not to talk to her.

Lacey finishes laughing and gets back in her chair.

"Maybe I should do a chapter about showing you some of the messed up romance fics on this site. I'll remember to make that one of the options posted at the end." She says stroking her 'beard'. "So, Jackson, are you going to answer that question?"

"No." I tell her giving her my best glare.

She sighs. "Fine then, be that way. You're expression was a pretty good answer, anyway."

She reads the next question.

"Annabeth, why does your mom hate Poseidon? He just wants to apologize" she pauses "That's so cute, Poseidon is in denial"

"How is my dad in denial?" I'm so confused.

"Read this" she turns the computer around so I can see the screen.

The review says.

**He's wants to apologize!**

**Poseidon: No I don't!**

**What?! How'd you get in here?**

**Poseidon: DIE MORTAL! *Sends flood at me***

**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**

"Oh" I didn't really think of my dad as that violent before.

"Last question from Megaranger. Is coke or pepsi better?"

"Coke. Blue coke." I answer.

"Coke has less calories and less carbs so Coke." Annabeth says at the same time.

Lacey stares at her "I can't believe you just said that. You just ruined soda. I shun you"

Lacey reads the next review. "Well, I'm done shunning Annabeth because Thekanefamily has a question for you. Why was the first thing you said to Percy, you drool in your sleep?"

Annabeth blushes. "Um… I don't know"

"Are you sure?" Lacey asks.

"Yes!"

Lacey rolls her eyes "our next question is from Pjofannn. Percy how do you survive so many dangerous encounters with monsters, gods, and titans?"

Percy shrugs "My friends help out a lot too"

Lacey grins "Aw, that's so sweet. He's being modest! That's why everyone likes Percy, but Annabeth…"

Lacey trails off when she sees Annabeth glaring at her.

Lacey reads another review and sits up straighter "Anyways, next question from Emilyjones. She wants me to ask you about the dam snack bar joke."

"How do you know about that?" Do I have stalkers or something? What if she's my stalker?

Lacey smiles evilly "we have our ways Perseus Jackson we have our ways"

Oh crap she's my stalker.

"Well? Aren't you going to answer the question?"

"No"

"You people are impossible!" Lacey complains.

"Annabeth, Biancediangelo wants to know if you have a belly button. You know, because of the way you're born"

Annabeth glares at her "No comment"

Lacey looks at me.

"She has a belly button" I tell her.

"Guest says, Annabeth when did you fall in love with Percy?"

Annabeth squeezes my hand "Probably the first time I saw him"

"Aw, that's so sweet" She says smiling.

"Guest wants to know if Athena approves of your relationship with Percy"

"She tried to set fire to Percy so no" Annabeth answers.

"How does Poseidon feel about your relationship with Annabeth?" she asks me.

"Um… we've never talked about it." I tell her.

"And now, for today's last question, do Travis and Connor Stoll ever try to prank you guys?"

"No" Annabeth says.

"Sometimes" I say.

"Oh, wait. I was wrong that wasn't the last question, this is. Guest, another one, wants to know if you've ever kissed Rachel" She grinned evilly.

"No" I say quickly before Annabeth stabs me with her dagger.

Lacey looks disappointed for a second.

"So, here are the options of what I can do in the next chapter."

_**PLEASE REVIEW HOW I SHOULD CONTINUE THIS STORY**_

_**I can show Percy the different romance fics on this site (and probably scar him for life)**_

_**I can release Percy and Annabeth and interview Thalia and Nico**_

_**I can release Percy and Annabeth and interview Chiron**_

**Thanks Wisdom 12, Annabeth12, Percyluvergirl, Percabethluvver, Guest, Guest, Guest, and everyone who's username is in the story.**

**Sorry I took so long to update. I've had this written for a while but stuff happened and I didn't have time to update.**


	4. Romance Fics

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or any of the fanfics included in my story.

Note: Some of these stories are chapters of longer fanfics or have had the beginning or end taken out.

Chapter 4 – Romance Fics

_Percy POV_

"Hey, everyone! I'm back and Percy is ready to read the romance fics! This is going to be epic!"

"Um… What is going to be epic?" I ask, scared of what the answer is.

"I'm going to scar you for life by showing you the romance fics on this site!" Lacey jumps up and down on her chair.

" I'm doing one story/chapter for every pairing. I'm missing a couple of fanfics because I couldn't find ones that work, so sorry. Now let's start with a Perlia story." Lacey says.

_Unforgettable Moment__ by XxPerliaxFabinaxX_

Thalia's POV

I wonder why Percy told me to go to the beach. Well it's not actully Percy who told me to go here, it was Grover saying that Percy wanted to meet me there. When I reached the beach, I gasped in surprised at what I saw. I saw Percy wearing his usual Camp Half Blood T-shirt, blue jeans and black converse. But that's not the reason why I was surprised, the reason is that I saw Percy holding a bunch of flowers, theres a table set up there with food and cans of coke.

Oh gods, Thalia is going to kill me for cheating on Annabeth.

When he noticed I was there, he stammered "Th-Thalia, I-I didn't-t notice y-you there"

I giggled at how cute he is when he is acting like a real Seaweed Brain "Hey, Percy, so...what's all this?" I asked quizzically.

Wait, what?

"What? Didn't Grover told you this was gonna be a date?" Percy asked.

I have a girlfriend! I wouldn't ask Thalia out on a date!

"Nooo..." I said slowly.

"Well, sooo..." Percy said while he pulled a chair and he gestured for me to seat. And so I sat.

(I'm just gonna skip there dinner)

When were done eating, which was awkward because we didn't talk so much. I was so busy thinking that I didn't even noticed that Percy is saying something.

Thalia is being really… quiet.

"So Thalia I just wanna ask you something?"

"Hmm, yeah what is it Percy?"

"I...uh, can you be my girlfriend" he said really fast, but fast enough to let me understand what he's saying. I was shocked 'cuz I thought that he like Annabeth?

I do, I like Annabeth! I never asked you out!

"WHAT?" I shouted. And I saw him winced when I shouted at him.

"Umm...Is that a no?" He said with full of hurt in his voice.

Why would I be hurt? She's a hunter, I should be expecting that.

"No no no, I meant that why would you like me I mean thought you like Annabeth?"

"What no! I only like her as a friend and nothing more. But _I_ love _you."_ He said.

No! it's an impostor!

"Oh. Well than it's a yes"

"What?"

"I said 'yes'"

"To what?" He really is a seaweed brain is he.

I like it better when Annabeth calls me a seaweed brain.

"To be your girlfriend, silly" I said matter of factly, and that's when Annabeth emerge from the forest. And boy was she fuming! And let me tell you, a fuming daughter of Athena is not what you need in this perfectly fine date. Wait hold on a sec, why is she holding a dagger. Oh my gods! Maybe she is going to stab me, or worst maybe she is gonna stab my Percy! I thought. What! He did propose to me to be his girlfriend!

"What did you do to my Percy! You...you bit-" I cut her off by saying.

Wow, this is the second time I've ever heard Annabeth swear! (A/n: he he, remember the like second or something chappie in my other story?)

"Your Percy! He's mine! And what did you mean by that!" I spat at her, I mean who did she thinks she is, Per-, wait! Percy! Where is he? Oh, there he is! When I look at his face, he looks terrified by us. Then Annabeth did something that shock me and Percy. She ran up to him and kiss him straight in the lips. Then I ran up to her and slap her across the face with 20 bolts of electricity. And she was knocked out. and Percy ran up to me and he said.

This is weird Thalia wouldn't hurt Annabeth.

"I'm sorry Thalia I-" h started.

"It's ok Percy. No need to apologies" I said.

"No it's not ok I-" and once again I cut him off again.

"I told you it's ok! Percy let's just bring Annabeth to the infirmary (A/N Did I spelled it wrong?) "

Well, at least she's taking Annabeth to the infirmary.

Then he knelts to the ground and pull out a green and blue box and said "Will you be my girlfriend?"

"YES!" I said well more like shouted. Then he opened the box to reveal a beautiful neclace. The neclace has a saphire shape like a thunderbolt. He put the neclace around my neck.

Isn't that too girly for Thalia?

Then we carry Annabeth to the infirmary and explained to Will that we saw Annabeth lying on the ground. We just lied because we don't want anyone find about me and Percy, yet.

And I know it was an Unforgettable moment!

Then how did I forget about it?

"Well, what did you think?" Lacey asks.

"I have a girlfriend!" I tell her.

"So you don't have a secret crush on Thalia?" Lacey says.

"No" I say.

Lacey looks disappointed "Well that sucks, because I was hoping to be the person that helped you get over your crush on Thalia and was then treated like a god by Percabeth lovers everywhere."

"What are Percabeth lovers, and why do you want to be treated like a god, lots of people hate gods." I say.

"HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW YOUR OWN COUPLE NAME?! AND HOW DARE YOU KILL MY DREAMS!"Lacey screams.

I almost expect Annabeth to suddenly materialize in the room. "Be quiet, I don't want to be skewered by Annabeth for reading this."

Lacey rolls her eyes. "Ladies and gentlemen, the Hero of Olympus who's scared of his girlfriend."

"Hey! She's a completely different person when she's mad!" I defend myself.

"Whatever, anyways we're wasting time so let's move on to the Pertemis romance fic."

_A Godess's Helping Hand__ by The Prince of Awesomeness_

The next morning (Percy POV)

Waking up with sore muscles the next day, memories of what had happened flooded into my mind. I decided to take a shower, and later laugh in a certain goddess's face. Wait.

Which goddess?

Artemis.

I forgot what I was doing at the current moment and charged for the door. I needed to explain what happened was an accident before she did something stupid to Camp Half-Blood.

Hurry, Percy!

Quickly looking at my clothes to make sure they were decent, I charged out the door and ran for the infirmary.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''

Time Skip

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ''''''''''''''''''''''''''

When I arrived at the door, I noticed it was guarded by hunters.

"Let me through." I said, trying to shove my way past them, but one of the girls grabbed me and slung me to the ground at least three feet away.

_**Dang, these girls are strong!**_ I thought standing up.

Wow, they are.

"What the heck was that for?!" I yelled. She calmly replied with,

"Our Lady does not wish to be bothered by boys, especially you." She said, making the word boys sound absolutely repulsive. I just snorted and replied,

"Listen, I just wanted to tell her that what happened last night was unintentional, and that I'm sorry she got hurt." I said in a calm voice. She pondered for a minute then went inside. After a few minutes, the door opened and she let me in.

Wow, I can't believe that worked.

Upon entering, I was surprised to find that the place was packed with hunters. And not all of them are conscious either. I looked at some of the hunters' faces, recognizing a few from their days before joining the hunt.

However, there were at least five conscious faces in the room, and all of them were glaring at me.

Percy, now would be a good time to run. Wait, am I talking to myself? It's my book self so I'm probably not. But technically it's me in the story so…

"Hurry up and finish the story!" Lacey says impatiently.

Thalia, the girl who let me in, someone who looks like she could be a child of Ares, a little girl who couldn't have been much older than ten, and Artemis.

"Well, Perseus?" The goddess said calmly. I chose my next few words wisely,

Good for me. I don't want Artemis to think I'm stupid or immature. I mean, I don't want Artemis to burn down the camp.

"First of all, Lady Artemis, I'm glad you're healing up nicely. Camp just wouldn't be right without someone threatening every boy who steps in front of her." I said, causing the goddess to smirk.

Artemis probably looks adorable when she smirks. Wait, what?

"Second, what happened last night was a total accident. A _**boy**_," I said it like a hunter would say it, "Decided he was going to butter up one of our archer's strings to impress her. Three guesses to who his parent is." I said, turning Artemis' smirk into a full on laugh. It was sort of intoxicating to listen to. Each laugh seemed to meld perfectly in harmony.

I know what you mean. I mean, I know what I mean. I mean…

"Well, I believe I can forgive them. I am anything, if not reasonable. Also, Perseus, I'm intrigued about what your strategy was last night that left so many of my hunters in the infirmary. Can you explain it?" She asked with eyebrows raised. I took a deep breath in before explaining the entire strategy.

Where's Annabeth? Isn't strategy her job?

….

Time skip

….

"…And so, we had to use butter to get his head unstuck." I finished, laughing. Artemis was clutching her ribs; she was having such a good time. Suddenly, she stopped and looked at me oddly. I noticed and started to feel my face and look down at my clothes to see if there was something on me.

When I was talking to _Artemis_? Do the Fates hate me that much?

"Hunters, can you leave the room, I have something to ask Perseus?" She asked her hunters seriously.

They were curious, but did as they were told and filed out through the door.

"Perseus, I think you may be the only decent man in the world." (Okay, now some of you may think this is the sign of cliché story, but no. I've given them time to connect so no… Just no…) She said catching me off guard. I also jumped as she said this, for 'The Goddess of the Hunt' just gave me, a boy, a compliment.

Yes! I knew it! I knew she liked me! I mean, wow, Artemis likes me? That's a little awkward,

Then her eyes got compassionate, and she started to speak,

"I'm sorry about Annabeth. You really deserved a happy life with her." She said, melting me into tears. I couldn't control it. Tears upon tears poured from my eyes. Tilting my head down to try to cover my face, I was surprised as I felt a soft hand cup my cheek. Through teary eyes, I looked up to see the eyes of the goddess also wet with tears.

Wait, what happened to Annabeth? Is she okay? Did one of my uncles hurt her?

"Why are you crying?" I asked in a shaky voice. This only seemed to make more tears fall from her eye, in turn, making me want to comfort her.

So I used one of my hands to wipe the tears from her eyes; an action that surprised her.

It surprised me too. Well, me me, not the one in the story.

"It's just… I used to… Can you keep a secret?" She asked pleadingly. She looked like she needed me to accept this so much, I couldn't refuse. So I nodded.

A secret? What secret?

"Thank you." She said shakily, slowly decreasing in tears. Se scooted a little on the mattress she was on and patted a spot. I sat down a bit slowly and gave a 'go ahead' gesture.

"There was a time when I was a kid, not much younger than you, Perseus-" She started, but I cut her off.

"Please call me Percy." I said.

Yeah, call me Percy. Normally it's just monsters that want to kill me that call me Perseus.

"Okay, well then Percy; there was a time when I was a little bit younger than you, and I lived with my mother Lipa." She took a deep breath and continued, "I had met this good-looking boy in the woods one day."

"He told me who he was, and we became friends. We spent several years having fun and growing closer, until one day he took me out to a cliff with an amazing view. And you know what he did, Percy? He proposed to me. I was so happy at that moment. So happy that I couldn't act quick enough to save him when he fell off the edge." She finished, melting into tears and losing control. I quickly wrapped my arms around her to comfort her, because in my eyes, I was sure we were friends. Whether she didn't notice the gesture, because she was in her own little world, or she didn't care, she didn't stop Percy.

What? Was that a POV change? How do I know about POV changes? Lacey must be rubbing off on me.

After a few moments of crying and trying to control the tears, she leaned up to face me, and once again said,

"Thank you." She said quietly. I looked into her eyes and knew immediately that she needed to get that off her shoulders. But those silvery yellow eyes were a part of a trap; I couldn't take my eyes away.

As we both started leaning towards each other, the next move was very much anticipated by both Artemis and I. It all seemed to be going in slow motion, but alas, I finally met her soft, tear-sodden lips with my own.

Oh. My. Gods.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''''''''''''''

3rd Person

In that one kiss, both Perseus' and Artemis' emptied all of their sorrows into thin air. It was as if they were each other's salvation of a dark and cold time.

When they broke apart, it was perfect timing. Not too long and not too short.

Really, I wonder what it would be like to kiss Artemis. I mean, I would _never_ in a million years kiss Artemis.

Once again, staring into each other's eyes, except this time, it was confusion about what just happened.

"I—I think I need to get some air." Percy said, slowly backing up towards the door, while Artemis just sat there, lost in the moment, unaware of all else around her.

After stumbling a bit while walking backwards, Percy finally turned around and barged out of the door and ran towards the lake to help focus on what just happened.

Yeah, do that…

"So, did you like the fanfic?" Lacey asks.

"Sure" I tell her.

Lacey's eyes get really big. "Does that mean you like Artemis?"

"Oh, no, gods no! I just meant that it wasn't as strange because I don't think of her as a cousin like Thalia." I explain.

Lacey relaxes. "Good, because I don't want Annabeth to attack me for making you fall in love with someone else. Anyways, let's read the Percy/Luke fanfic."

_** G**__** by Marchenplushie28**_

**Luke looked amused, lips unabashedly pulling up into a grin reserved for only the Hermes kids as he stood before him. His scar pulled taught on his skin with the movement, and it became a smile reserved only for Luke. Percy stared for a moment, then realized that he hadn't uncapped Riptide and was holding his friend at pen point rather than sword point. He quickly pulled the pen back, shoving it into his pocket, his eyes gluing themselves to the ground.**

Don't fall for it Percy! It's a trick! He's working for Kronos!

**"Uh…" he muttered. Articulation seemed a fine skill to possess when facing monsters, gods, and even Clarisse, but somehow it just didn't like to stick around in such situations. Percy wondered if there was a god that specifically ruled over speech, one that just liked to mess with him, and silently cursed that god if he or she actually existed.**

"Lacey, is there a god that specifically rules over speech?" I asked.

"If you really want to know then look it up yourself" She crosses her arms stubbornly.

**"Percy, I heard you headed out on lunch pretty quickly earlier." Well, at least Luke was still articulate. A one sided conversation seemed better than a no-sided one. Percy nodded, focusing on the other boy's shoes. One was double knotted, the other slowly coming undone. He contemplated commenting on it as the silence between them failed to alleviate itself, but in the end decided against it, instead bringing his face up to meet Luke's again with a deep breath. It shouldn't be so hard to talk, he berated himself, but it was.**

What are you talking about? It's just Luke. Well, not just Luke, but still.

**"Earlier…" he trailed off again, waiting for Luke to say something. Instead, the blonde raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side and waiting for him to continue. Percy cleared his throat and said, "Earlier…we uh…look, I know that events were kind of misconstrued and the, uh, the other kids were just being…childish about it, I guess." He shoved his hands in his pockets again, reaching for Riptide anxiously and forgetting the previous fiasco. He turned the cap around on the pen without removing it, waiting for a response.**

Wait, what happened? Why am I so nervous?

**Finally, Luke shrugged. He reached out, placing a hand on Percy's shoulder, his smile reaching something near the level of earnest. "I'm sorry they were being childish, Percy, but I'm not really sure what events you're talking about. What exactly happened earlier that could be misconstrued, Percy?"**

Yeah, what happened that could be misconstrued, Percy?

**That had to be at least the third time Luke had said his name, and in the span of three sentences. Percy shifted uncomfortably, forcing himself not to jolt away when Luke took a step closer, murmuring his name again. "Percy, I'm not sure I understand. What exactly happened?"**

I agree with Luke.

**"I—you—I fell and you fell on top of me," Percy forced out. He didn't think he'd ever been this close to the other boy when they weren't fighting. He smelled good, not that Percy was intentionally trying to discern this fact. Oh no, on the contrary. He was trying to think of anything but this fact. Thinking of things like the fact that he wasn't gay. He'd just never liked a girl in his life. "And then…"**

I like Annabeth, she's a girl.

**Luke pressed on. "And then?"**

**"You kissed me—my neck, uh…" That wasn't what he meant to say. That was how it had been misconstrued. Luke, however, seemed anything but offended.**

Luke kissed me? But I'm not gay.

**The hand not steadily holding onto his shoulder reached up and brushed across Percy's throat. "Percy," Luke began quietly. Fifth time he'd said it, Percy thought. "You think I kissed your neck, Percy?" Luke asked. Sixth time.**

Why does he keep saying my name? Does he think it's going to make me explode or something?

**"I, uh…" The incoherency was returning. Percy's grip tightened on Riptide as he tried to control the urge to turn tail and run away as fast as humanly possible. "Yeah?"**

Curse the nonexistent god of speech.

**A small, breathy chuckle found its way off Luke's lips and Percy shivered. "Well P—"**

**The younger boy cut Luke off before he could say it again. "Would you stop saying my name already?" he snapped, realizing somewhere in the back of his mind that the hand not holding Riptide in his pocket had wrapped itself in the bottom corner of his friend's shirt. All he got was another chuckle in response.**

What's so funny?

**Luke leaned down the small distance that it took so that his mouth was beside Percy's ear, warm breath dancing across his skin mischievously, and said, "No, **_**Percy**_**, I will not stop saying your name. I like saying your name **_**Percy**_**, and just so you know, you would have no doubt that I had kissed you if I did. If I had, it would've been something like this."**

Wait what? Is Luke gay?

**Before he even had time to comprehend the words Luke really was kissing him, lips pushing against his own, teeth scraping his lower lip and sending shivers down his body. The other's mouth went parading down his neck in a valiant march of delicious suction and teeth and tongue. He gasped in air, eyes squeezing shut tightly. **_**Not gay, don't like this, not gay, don't like this**_**. Luke pressed at a particularly sensitive spot and Percy arched himself against him, the next words escaping his mouth in a muddled daze. "Damn it, I'm gay," he hissed, and it wasn't what he meant to say, but most of what he'd said wasn't what he meant it to be.**

I'm gay? But…

**His fingers tightened around Riptide, a gasp escaping his mouth, and the cap popped off. Lucky for him, Luke had fast reflexes.**

**The blonde stumbled back, and they stared at each other, gasping in air. Percy wasn't quite sure what he looked like, but he was pretty sure it was something along the lines of "oh-my-god-I-can't-believe-that-just-happened-and- why-in-**_**Hades**_**-did-that-just happen". Luke just looked triumphant.**

I cant believe I'm gay…

**A moment more of gasping in air and Luke grinned widely, glancing down at the sword in Percy's hand. It had ripped through his pocket, but luckily done no more damage than that. He looked back up at Percy, waggling his eyebrows.**

**"Is that Riptide, or are you just happy to see me?" he asked, and Percy couldn't help but laugh.**

_**Demigods,**_** he thought, **_**we're freaking immature to the last.**_

_No, that's not… Okay, it's totally true._

Lacey waves her hand in front of my face.

"Hello? Anyone home?" She asks.

"What?" I ask.

"You do know these are just fiction, right?"

"They are?"

"I think… I mean yeah, they are."

"So I'm not gay?" I ask her hopefully.

"I don't know, are you?" She asks.

I don't think so.

"Wonderful, you're not gay. Let's move on to the Percy/Jason story."

_**Promise**__** by LostSilverAngel**_

**The screams of pain from Annabeth were ingrained in his brain and he knew that a part of him had broken and that it would never be fixed.**

Why? What happened to Annabeth? Is she okay?

"You guys were in Tartarus" Lacey explained.

**He didn't know how much time passed before his body allowed him to open his eyes.**

**When he did though, his first sensation was being held in a warm embrace.**

Annabeth?

**He was to weak to pull himself away so he did the next best thing.**

**He grunted, because words wouldn't come out yet.**

"What's wrong with me?" I asked.

"Many, many things." Lacey answered.

**The person holding him stiffened, before pulling away and staring into his eyes.**

**"Percy? Are you okay? Do you want me to get you something?"**

Definetly not Annabeth, she would have scolded me for being a seaweed brain.

**Percy kept staring at Jason, his eyebrows scrunching in confusion.**

Um… Jason?

**"Sorry, but we've all been so worried, Annabeth woke up two days ago but wouldn't tell us what happened down there."**

That would be good information to know.

**Percy kept staring, but showing any reaction to Jason's words.**

**"Are you okay?"**

I don't know. Am I?

**Percy could see the worry in Jason's sky blue eyes and it took him some effort but he nodded. He could feel Jason relax slightly.**

Wait, what's going on?

**"Well, I have some food here for you are you hungry?"**

Yes!

**Again he nodded as he struggled to sit up. He could see Jason looking at him, a worried expression on his face.**

**"Here, I'll help you."**

That's… nice…

**Jason held the soup bowl in one hand, the other putting the spoon to Percy's lips.**

**He swallowed the soup, which tasted like cardboard to him but it felt good going down his throat. He tried to smile at the blonde boy, who gave him a soft smile back.**

I think I'm starting to get what's going on here.

**"You'll get better Percy, I promise"**

**Jason's warm lips met his forehead and Percy smiled, he was broken but maybe Jason could do the impossible and fix him.**

Yep, I know what's going on.

"Okay, and that is our last story. Time for end of chapter announcements." Lacey says.

I stare at her.

"We have those?" I ask.

"We do now." She tells me. "Okay, so because of the reviews I've gotten I'm going to post a final chapter with Percy and Annabeth. Then I'm going to go find Thalia and Nico. Bye!"

**Lacey: Oh my gods, thirteen pages of Percy commenting on fanfiction. Anyways, I am so, So, SO sorry it took me so long to update. I literally thought it had been three weeks not like five months. Also by the end of this I was kind of rushing to get it up so I'm even sorrier if it's not really funny.**

**I feel like a terrible author so to make it up to you I am starting on the next chapter as soon as I finish typing this.**

**Anywho this was the PJO Interviews version of me showing Percy the romance fics. Hope everyone enjoyed.**

**R&R!**


	5. Jealous

Chapter 5 – Jealous

_Percy POV_

"I'm so sad! This is our last time here with Percy and Annabeth! I'm going to miss all the good times we had here together, like ho-"Lacey rambles.

"What good times?" Annabeth asks.

Lacey looks hurt. "You didn't enjoy the cookies I made for you guys?"

"Do you have any more of those?" I ask her.

Lacey smiles and snaps her fingers. A platter of cookies appears in front of us. I shove one in my mouth.

Annabeth sighs and rolls her eyes at me. What did I do? I'm just trying to enjoy our last day with Lacey.

"Alright, you guys can go as soon as I ask you these last questions from the reviewers." Lacey says "Megaranger is first. Annabeth, Megaranger says he's a guy not a girl."

Annabeth smirks. "I'm glad she's offended."

Lacey pretends to be shocked. "Annabeth! That's mean, even for you!"

"Thank you… wait, what do you mean even for me!" Annabeth asks angrily.

Lacey grins mischievously. "Anyway, what did you guys think of the movie about your adventures getting Zeus' bolt back?"

"It was terrible, the person playing me looked nothing like me." Annabeth complains.

"I know right? It's like they were trying to torture all the fans by ruining the story!" Lacey exclaims.

"And Percy? Way hotter in real life." Annabeth says.

This is nice. Annabeth and Lacey are getting along, my girlfriend just called me hot, and I have a huge plate of cookies in front of me. Speaking of cookies… I eat another cookie.

"And in the movie you're way too levelheaded. I mean it's like, be real people. There's no way you and Percy could get along that well."

"Excuse me? What did you just say?" Annabeth asks threateningly. Oh gods, not again, my ears are still ringing from their last screaming match.

"Umm, Annabeth? Percy looks a little traumatized."

Annabeth looks at me. "Maybe we should move on to the next question."

"Okay. So, Annabeth, howmuchwoodwouldawoodchuckchuckifawoodchuckcouldch uckwood?" Lacey asks.

Annabeth stares at her blankly. "What?"

"I said, howmuchwoodwouldawoodchuckchuckifawoodchuckcouldch uckwood?" Lacey says.

"Can you say it slower?" Annabeth says, sounding annoyed.

Lacey sighs. "I said, how… much… wood… would… a… woodchuck… chuck… if… a… woodchuck… could… chuck… wood?"

"Oh, I don't know." Annabeth says.

"Well, look it up in your computer brain then." Lacey says.

"I don't have a computer brain!" Annabeth yells.

"Yes you do!" Lacey yells back.

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Yes you do!"

They keep arguing.

Finally Lacey throws he hands up in the air. "I give up! You don't have a computer brain. Now can you be quiet so that I can google the answer?"

Annabeth closes her mouth and Lacey types something into her computer. After a minute of reading something on the computer she looks up at us smiling.

"The answer to Megaranger's question is-ladies and gentlemen are you ready for this?- the average amount they would chuck in a day is 150 butt cords of wood." Lacey says in an announcer voice.

Annabeth rolls her eyes. "Can we do the next question?"

"Sure, do you guys think your parents rivalry is annoying? I totally agree with Megaranger. It is sad because they so obviously like each other." Lacey says.

"They're rivalry is annoying." Annabeth tells her.

Then I realize something. "But if they like each other and then they got married wouldn't that make me and Annabeth step-siblings."

Lacey's eyes get really big.

"Oh god." She says.

Annabeth looks like she's going to throw up.

We all just sit there silently for a little while.

Lacey sits up and says, "Our next question is from Goodegirl34. She wants to know where she can get a dam necklace like the ones at Camp Half-Blood."

"I think you need to be a camper to get one." I tell Lacey.

"So basically, she has to be a demigod that goes to camp."

"Yep" Annabeth says.

"Alright, her next question is, Percy, does Annabeth know what you did on Calypso's Island?"

Annabeth jumps up.

"I knew it! I knew you were cheating on me!" She yells. "I'm going to go down to Ogygia and-"

"Um, Annabeth…" Lacey says.

"-I am going to-"

"Annabeth?" Lacey says again.

"-kick her butt so bad that-"

"Annabeth!" Lacey yells.

"Yeah?"

"Technically, he wasn't cheating on you because you weren't together yet."

"But…" Annabeth looks disappointed.

"I mean I know you kissed him before he went to Ogygia but you weren't together. So, you can't justify killing Percy or Calypso." Lacey tells her.

Annabeth sits back down and I move my chair to the left to put more distance in between us.

"So, Goodegirl's last question is what color pants are you wearing?" Lacey says.

I look down at my jeans. "I'm wearing blue pants."

Annabeth nods. "Me too."

"Awesome, our next question is from Hey. Hey wants Percy to tell them what he was aiming at when he went to Saratoga and what were some other trip accidents." Lacey tells me.

"I wasn't trying to hit anything, I didn't even mean for it to actually go off, honest." I tell her.

Lacey rolls her eyes. "If you were playing around with it enough for it to actually go off then you were obviously aiming at something."

"I was aiming at the tree line." I admit. **(A/n: I have never been to Saratoga. I have no idea what that place is like)**

Lacey sighs. "Oh, Percy, when will you learn? At least aim the cannon at something worth blowing up!"

I decide that staring at her like she's crazy is the best response.

"Anyway, what were your other trip accidents?" Lacey asks.

"Well, in fourth grade I hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and my class took an unplanned swim." I tell her.

"Yeah, but tell us something we haven't already heard." Lacey says.

"Um… how do you know about that trip, how do you know about the Saratoga trip?" Lacey and her reviewers were starting to really creep me out.

She gave me the same answer as yesterday.

"I told you, Percy," then her voice turns really creepy, "us fans have our ways."

"Well, um, in third grade we went on a field trip to a prison and I accidentally locked half the class in a prison cell."

Annabeth looks at me weirdly.

"O-kay," Lacey says, "well our next question is from AshleyDaughterofApollo. Annabeth, she wants to ask you if when you spent most of your days swooning over Luke before Percy came along, were you aware that he was seven fricking years older than you?"

"I never swooned over Luke!" Annabeth argued.

Lacey rolled her eyes. "Sure you didn't"

Annabeth crossed her arms and glared at Lacey.

Lacey looked at me. "Percy, tell Annabeth she totally used to swoon over Luke."

Annabeth glared intensely at me.

"Um… pass?" I said.

Lacey looked annoyed but moved on. "Okay then, Ashley also says this and I quote, you should know that us fans are like paparazzi. We follow your every move. We know everything that ever happened in your life, the field trip to the museum when you were twelve. We know all of you thoughts. Oh, and we saw what you did with Rachel Mr. Player. We have-"

Annabeth stands up so quickly her chair flies backwards and hits the wall.

"I knew it! I knew you guys had a thing!" She screams.

Lacey facepalms.

"We didn't have a thing! We never kissed or anything!" I argued.

"Liar!" Lacey says, "Chapter one, page six, 'Rachel kissed me before I could even react.'"

"I never kissed her!" I corrected myself.

Lacey nods.

"Wait, did you just say chapter one-"

Lacey looks panicked. Then she snaps her fingers.

"You never heard anything suspicious."

I feel like a puzzle piece just fell out of the universe. The last thing I remember is Lacey quoting a reviewer.

"We have seen all your fluffy moments with Annabeth already. We know you so well we know where your Achilles spot was. We know you so well that we know what drink you had for lunch yesterday. That's right be creeped out and afraid." Lacey finishes quoting.

"That's terrifying." I tell her.

Lacey grins. "Also, Ashley wants to know if she can have your eyes because she thinks they're pretty."

"Um… I kind of like my eyes." I say uncomfortably.

"Okay, and now a question for Annabeth! EmilyJackson-Hero wants to know if Annabeth could be any awesome." Lacey tells Annabeth.

Annabeth smiles. "I like to think that there is always room for more improvement."

Lacey rolls her eyes. "Whatever, Owl Face."

Annabeth opens her mouth to argue but Lacey keeps talking.

"PurpleNutela wants me to tell Annabeth, 'I don't want to ruin your relationship or nothing, but I actually shipped Percy and Rachel for a couple chapters, and they kissed, they totally kissed."

"I knew it, I can't believe you would-"

"Look, Annabeth, Rachel isn't allowed to date and Percy is going out with you. So why are you so jealous?" Lacey asks.

Annabeth stares at her for a minute then she sits back down.

Lacey smiles at Annabeth.

"Well, that is the last of our questions for Percy and Annabeth. I think it's time to let you guys go back to Camp Half-Blood." Lacey says.

Lacey opens the door and motions with her hand for us to leave the room.

"You mean it was unlocked the whole time?" Annabeth asks her.

Lacey nods. "You guys never tried to escape so there was no point in locking the door, and anyways locking the hero of Olympus and his girlfriend in a room seemed wrong."

We leave the room and Lacey closes the door behind us. We follow her through a hallway and she lets us out the front door.

"I guess this means goodbye." Annabeth says.

Lacey nods. "Yeah, I guess it does. Oh! One more thing!"

She reaches down and picks up a shoe box that's sitting next to the door and hands it to me.

"What's inside?" I ask her.

"Open it." She says.

I lift up the lid of the shoe box and two pink noses stick out of the box. They're rats.

"Send those to Hermes. He'll know who they're for." Lacey tells me.

"Okay" I say closing the box.

"Well, I had a lot of fun interviewing you guys." Lacey says.

Then she hugs me and Annabeth.

"Good luck finding Camp Half-Blood!" Lacey tells us.

She slams the door in our faces.

"Let's go find a map." Annabeth tells me.

Inside we can hear Lacey tell the reviewers to "R&R"

**Lacey: Thanks to Person, Guest3, Cassidy daughter of Hermes, Guest (x5), serwalt, CharlietheUnicorn1911, Mythomagic101, and Jadewish.**


	6. Kidnapping Grace and diAngelo

Chapter 6 – Kidnapping Grace and diAngelo

_Thalia POV_

I'm crouching next to the small stream and filling a collapsible bucket with water to take back to our camp. Then I hear a quiet crack. I look around for an attacker but all I see is a deer. The deer must have stepped on a branch.

I look back down at the bucket to see if it's full yet. It's not.

Then there's a sharp pain in my shoulder and I fall unconscious.

* * *

_Lacey POV_

I jump out of the tree I was hiding in and land quietly on the forest floor. I sling Lullaby over my shoulder and I walk over to Thalia. I quickly pull my arrow out of Thalia's shoulder. The wound closes up immediately.

I grab a potato sack from my backpack and shove Thalia inside. Then I drag Thalia in the direction of my car.

Halfway there, I have to stop and rest.

"Gods, Thalia, you weigh more than Percy and Annabeth combined!" I tell her.

Thalia doesn't answer.

I start dragging her again and finally we get to the edge of the woods where I parked my car.

I throw Thalia in the trunk and then I drive to New York to find Nico.

* * *

_Nico POV_

I'm in my room in the Underworld. I shadow travel to an alley in New York to go get McDonalds. But when I get there I see something terrifying.

The way out of the alley is blocked by rows and rows of pink My Little Ponies. I stare at them in horror. The amount of pink is scarier than any monster I've ever seen. I turn around to shadow travel back to my father's palace but the brick wall behind me is covered in rainbow stickers. I stumble backwards and fall on my butt.

* * *

_Lacey POV_

I grin as I park in New York. I didn't get a ticket for reckless driving this time!

I jump out of the car and I walk down the street until I find the alley where I left my trap. When I get there Nico is in a fetal position rocking back and forth.

"So much pink…" He mutters under his breath over and over again.

I sigh and look at my tranquilizer arrow. I'm not sure I'll need it. Then I look back at Nico. He looks seriously traumatized.

I step over the pink plastic toys and stand next to Nico. Then I stab him with my arrow. I wait for the chemicals to take effect.

I put Nico inside a potato sack and then I haul him back to my car. You would think a thirteen year old girl wearing a ski mask and dragging a body shaped sack towards her a car would make people suspicious. But no one pays any attention to me.

I put Nico in the trunk with Thalia and then I drive home.

This should be very fun.

* * *

**Lacey: Review question to ask Thalia Grace and Nico. Please?**

**Thanks!**

**R&R!**


	7. Innocent Fanfictioners

Chapter 7 – Innocent Fanfictioners  


_Thalia POV_

I am seriously pissed off. First this person shoots me in the shoulder. Then they knock me out and kidnap me. And then, because that's not enough, they leave me in a room with nothing but a table, three metal chairs, and my sleeping cousin. Don't they know how hungry I am?

Then there's a knock on the door and a girl walks in. She's carrying a laptop under one arm and a tray with food on it balanced on her left hand.

"Hey, Grace, is Nico still asleep?" She asks.

I glare at her.

She sets down her things and pokes Nico's shoulder. He doesn't respond. She tilts her head to the side and examines him like he's a complicated puzzle she's trying to solve.

Then she lightly kicks his leg and Nico wakes up.

"I'm sorry! No more pink!" He yells.

I look at him weirdly. The girl skips over to the chair on the other side of the table and sits down. She smiles at me cheerfully.

"Hi!" She chirps. "I'm Lacey, I'm going to interview you for my readers."

I give her my best death glare. "Why did you kidnap me?"

Lacey doesn't flinch, instead she smiles. "I just told you, to interview you."

I keep glaring at her.

"So, do you guys have any other questions?" She asks me.

I don't say anything. Nico doesn't either.

"You guys aren't very talkative, are you?" Lacey pauses. "You know, the sooner you answer all the questions the sooner I can let you go and you can get back to your preparing for the war business. But meanwhile, why don't you have some scones and coffee."

She pushes the tray of coffee and scones closer to us. I pick up a scone and take a sip of coffee.

"I'm not telling you anything about the war." I tell her while I eat the scone.

She rolls her eyes. "I'm not here to ask you about the war, Grace. I think the readers have much more important questions to ask."

I clench my fists under the table but don't let her know she's getting to me by using my last name. She probably just wants a reaction from me. Well, she's not getting one.

"Like what?" I ask.

"You'll see in a second. So, can we start the questions?" Lacey says.

I look over at Nico. He's looking really freaked out for some reason. But he nods quietly.

"Sure, ask away." I tell her.

Lacey looks way too enthusiastic about this whole thing. "Awesome. The first question is from Megaranger66, he wants to know if you guys like each other."

"I'm a hunter of Artemis. You know, an eternal maiden? I can't date." I tell her.

Lacey rolls her eyes. "Just because you can't date doesn't mean you don't like someone. So answer the question, do you like Nico?"

"No." I tell her.

She turns to Nico. "Do you like Thalia?"

"She's my cousin. Of course not." Nico answers.

"Well, I don't know if I believe you. Because Megaranger says the Stolls said that they heard noises and saw you walking out of the Hades cabin together."

Nico makes a chocking sound. I clench my fists. The next time I see the Stolls I'm going to strangle them.

"Okay, I can see that's a touchy subject. Why don't we move on to the next question? Nico, were you and Captain America friends?" She asks.

"Captain America doesn't exist." Nico tells her.

"You have no proof!" She yells.

I look at her skeptically. "He needs proof? Captain America was created because

"I forgive you." Lacey tells him. "Now, Megaranger's next question is for Grace. When you joined the hunters, did you have to do an initiation?"

I shake my head. "Nope, I'm too cool for that."

Lacey rolls her eyes. Again. If she keeps doing that I might just result to violence.

"Stop doing that." I tell her.

She looks confused. "Stop doing what?"

"Rolling your eyes. It's annoying." I tell her.

She rolls her eyes. "Too bad."

She reads something from the screen. "Grace, why do you fear heights?"

"I don't fear heights!" I lie.

Lacey covers my hand with hers. It's really weird.

"We're all friends here, Thalia, you don't have to lie." She has a suspiciously sincere expression.

I pull my hand away. "You're weird."

"Thank you." Lacey says. "Now, can you answer the question?"

"How am I supposed to know why I'm afraid of heights? Fear is irrational." I tell her.

"I guess it is." Lacey agrees. "Then, have you met Thor?"

"Um, no," I tell her, "for the same reason that Nico isn't friends with Captain America."

She sighs. "That figures, so the next question is, Nico, do you hate sunshine?"

"What makes you think I hate sunshine?" He asks defensively.

"Well, your dad is Hades and you live in the Underworld. Also, you're afraid of pink My Little Ponies and rainbows. Can you see where we might get that idea?"

Wait a minute.

"You're afraid of My Little Ponies and rainbows?" I ask him, cracking up.

Lacey laughs too. "I know, I laughed so hard when I found out."

"You're the one who put all those things in that alley?" Nico asks her.

Lacey stops laughing. "You mean, you didn't already figure that out? Gods, use your- oh, right, I'm supposed to be nice."

I watch her in confusion. What was that about?

"Anyways, getting back on topic, Nico are you or are you not afraid of sunshine? Oh, that sounded very professional of me…"

"I'm not afraid of sunshine!" Nico tells her, sounding frustrated.

"Sure you aren't." Lacey says sarcastically, but she moves on before Nico has a chance to argue again. "So, does Nico have any secrets? Like KNOWING WHERE THALIA'S BROTHER IS AND THAT THERE'S A ROMAN CAMP! Yelling is so satisfying."

"If I have secrets then I'm not telling them to you." Nico says defensively.

"Tell me!" She says.

"No." He answers.

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Please?"

"No."

"Hmph."

Lacey sits back in her chair with her arms crossed while she pouts at Nico. "Please? Just one secret?"

Nico shakes his head. She sighs and seems to give up.

"Fine, next question is for Grace." She reads it and frowns. "Actually, it's really more of a statement, but here goes. K/K/F: Percy, Artemis, and-he's grinning evilly now-and Nico."

"No. My answer is just no." I tell her.

She nods in understanding. "Fine, the next question is from guest. They want to know if you play minecraft."

"Of course not, that would be like asking a monster to come and eat us." I say.

"Is that what demigods call suicide then?" Lacey asks.

"How would I know, I've never met a suicidal demigod." I answer.

"Right, so SummerSpirit18 is next. Her question is, if the only way to save the world is to marry each other, would you do it?"

"How would that save the world?" I ask skeptically.

"She has no idea." Lacey says grandly.

I want to facepalm. What's with all these stupid questions? This is the most pointless interrogation ever.

"Just answer." Lacey says. "The sooner we finish the sooner we can do something fun."

I'm pretty sure that her idea of fun is my idea of torture, but I answer anyway.

"I guess… I would… marry him." I make a face. "But only to save the world."

Lacey grins. "Sure, _that's_ why you would marry him."

I glare at her. She glares back. It turns into a staring contest.

Then she smiles brightly, shocking me into blinking. "Ha! I win, which means it's time for the next question, from .Hades.3163. It's for Grace. Did you ever like Luke (as in kissing)?"

"No, absolutely not." I lie.

Lacey gives me a look that says _That was totally a lie_.

"Fine, I kissed him once. But it didn't really mean anything." I answer.

Lacey nods like this is an acceptable answer. "Fine the next question from Daughter. is for Nico. Why do you hate my little ponies? You and Percy could become bronies."

"I don't hate them, I'm just…" Nico trails off.

"Utterly and completely terrified of them?" Lacey supplies.

Nico scowls. "Fine, I'm scared of them. But bronies? Seriously?"

"Yeah, you're not the bronies type." Lacey agrees. "Moving on then, if someone takes a demigod quiz does that make them actually a demigod? If so, she would be your sister."

"I don't think that makes them a demigod." I answer for Nico.

Where are they getting these questions?

"The next question is… from Lilith Jae. Grace, do you have any regrets about becoming a hunter?" Lacey asks.

"Of course not." I say. "Why would I have regrets?"

"Reasons…" Lacey says suspiciously.

"Don't tell me this is more of that 'do you like Nico' crap. Because I DON'T!" I yell.

"YOU'RE KILLING THE DREAMS OF INNOCENT FANFICTIONERS!" Lacey screams back.

I can't believe I heard right. "Did you just call them innocent? They're supporting the kidnapping of demigods who are supposed to be saving the world."

Lacey rolls her eyes. "You make it sounds so bad, being kidnapped by me. I mean seriously, I let you have a cell mate and I talk to you and I bring you scones and coffee for breakfast. There a lot worse ways to be kidnapped. Right, Nico?"

We both turned to look at Nico. He's moved his chair to get as far away from us as possible.

"I'm not getting involved in your screaming match." He tells us.

"You're no fun." Lacey tells him sitting down. She glances at the screen of her laptop.

"Alright, the next question is for Nico. We're done fighting so you can move your chair over here to hear the question." Lacey says.

"No thanks, I think I'll just stay here. Out of the way…" Nico answers.

She shrugs, "Suit yourself. This question is also from Lilith, do you ever have fantasies about Thalia?"

Nico's face turns a hilarious shade of red. I would laugh at him if my face wasn't heating up, too.

"Um… what?" He chokes out.

"I said-" Lacey starts to repeat herself.

"I heard you. I just… what?" Nico says.

"Yeah, maybe I shouldn't make you answer that. Just to keep you guys answering the rest of the questions." Lacey says.

I nod my agreement.

"Okay, Shadow Son of Hades And Lupa wants to know Thalia's take on Thalico." Lacey says.

"Is that what I think it is?" I ask her.

"If you think it's your couple name, then yes." Lacey answers.

"Then I think that the couple name is stupid and the idea is even stupider. " I tell her.

Lacey sighs. "Please stop abusing the romance questions."

"Why? I'm an eternal maiden, they make no sense." I say.

Lacey rolls her eyes. "Okay, blueice2449 wants to ask you both if you're emo or goth."

"Where did they get that idea? I wear silver all the time." I say defensively.

"I'm not going to answer that." Nico tells her.

"Well, those are all of today's questions. Say bye to the reviewers!" Lacey tells us cheerfully.

Neither of us says anything.

"Fine, guys, be antisocial. Bye everyone, R&R and read the options for next chapter below!" Lacey is waving and talking to nothing. She is officially going crazy.

_**PLEASE REVIEW WHAT I SHOULD DO NEXT CHAPTER**_

_**I can keep interviewing Thalia & Nico**_

_**I can release Thalia & Nico and kidnap Piper & Leo**_

* * *

**Thank you to Trident Lover, Purple Nutella, O-Yeah-IMA-GUEST, Flameon88, Cupcake girl282, The Prince of Awesomeness, Percabethlvrknowsall, Random demigod, and everyone mentioned in the story. If I didn't put your question in the story it was because your question had already been asked.**


	8. Emotional Trauma

Chapter 8 – Emotional Trauma

_Nico POV_

"Hello Nico!" Lacey says as she skips into the room. "Hey Grace."

"Will you stop calling me Grace? That's not my name!" Thalia yells at her.

Lacey claps her hands together. "Yes, a reaction. Finally!"

"You mean you kept calling me by my last name, even though you obviously knew I hated it, just to get a reaction from me?" Thalia asks her angrily.

"Yes siree." Lacey answers.

Thalia opens her mouth to yell at Lacey, but then she thinks for a second and her face relaxes. "You have potential, Lacey. Start using your annoyingness on boys and you'll be half-way to becoming a hunter."

Lacey bows. "Thank you, Thalia, but I think I'll stick to the interviews. And speaking of interviews, SummerSpirit18 left the one of _the_ longest reviews I have ever seen, so let's get started."

I sit back in my chair and prepare for embarrassment.

"Her first question is a statement and it is this: You're in denial. Yes, it's an affirmation. And because you're in denial you'll say you're not in denial. Any responses to that?"

"What are we in denial of?" I ask her.

Lacey grins at us. "She means you're in denial of your obvious love for each other."

Thalia crosses her arms. "Excuse me?"

"Right, I mean your 'obvious love' for each other." Lacey adds the air quotes, rolling her eyes. "Personally, I think Thalico is kind of cute. You know, ignoring the fact that Artemis would probably kill you for breaking your oath of not falling in love or whatever it was."

"I am not in love with Nico. He is my cousin. Our relationship is completely platonic." She looks over at me sharply. I nod obediently in agreement.

Lacey reads something on her laptop screen. "Well, moving on to SummerSpirit's second question you probably shouldn't have said you'd marry to save the world if you were going to deny any feelings for each other. But anyways, how would you name your kids?"

"I'm a-"

Lacey cuts Thalia off. "Pretend for a second that you aren't a hunter and you end up having kids. Now answer the question."

Thalia sighs. "Fine, I would name them… Luke if it's a boy and… Annie if it's a girl."

"That's so sweet of you. You would name them after your friends." Lacey says. "I didn't know you could be so sentimental."

"I am not sentimental." Thalia states firmly.

Lacey reads something else and grins. "Oh, Thalia, you're gonna love this. She says you're pregnant in one of her stories."

"That's it!" Thalia yells, lunging at the laptop. Lacey grabs the laptop and tries to pull it away from her, she looks at me pleadingly. I make two skeletons rise out of the floor. They pry Thalia away from the laptop and push her back into her seat.

Thalia scowls at me. "What was that for?"

"If you broke her laptop she'd probably die of emotional trauma. And then we would be stuck in this stupid room forever." I explain. We both look over at Lacey who is hugging her laptop and stroking the light green cover.

"Lacey." I say.

She looks up. "Right, we're in the middle of the interview. Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"A girl." Thalia answers.

Lacey looks at me. I shake my head.

"I'm not having kids. Ever." I tell her.

"Come on, Nico. You have to fall in love sometime. And then you're going to get married and have kids." Lacey gets out of her chair mid-sentence and spins around the room.

"I'm a demigod. The chances of me even living long enough to have kids are really low." I point out.

Lacey sighs. "True. So, question number three/six is… what would you want your kids to look like?"

"I would want them to look like me." Thalia answers.

"I'm a guy, I don't think about girly things like that." I tell her. Lacey starts laughing.

She wipes tears from her eyes. "That is the most hilarious lie I've ever heard."

"Um… it's not a lie." I say. Where does she get the idea that I'm lying?

"Sure it isn't." Lacey says sarcastically. "Now, question four is this. Thalia, let's forget about Nico-NOT-or other boys. Describe how you imagined your wedding dress."

"Do I have to?" Thalia whines.

"Yes." Lacey tells her.

"Fine, when I was five and didn't know any better I imagined my wedding dress a lot like the one Cinderella wore in the movie." By the end of the sentence Thalia was blushing.

Lacey grinned."Thalia, that was truly endearing. Now, SummerSpirit's next question is for Nico. Can you describe the girl of your dreams? And you're allowed to say Thalia if you want."

"I don't know. I'll know the girl of my dreams when I meet her." I answer.

"Alright. Time for the next question, what did the Stolls hear back there?" Lacey asks.

"Nothing. The Stolls were lying to you." I tell her.

Lacey sighs. "In that case SummerSpirit wants you to invite her to your wedding. Now we can move on to the last question from girlzrule1010."

"Let's get this over with." Thalia groans.

"Nico, how come you don't go to Camp Half-Blood?" She asks me.

"Because not everyone accepts a son of Hades." I answer her question.

"And that is the end of this interview. Please review. I need your questions to keep writing this story. So the options for next chapter are below." Lacey says to air.

**REVIEW WHAT I SHOULD DO NEXT CHAPTER**

_**Keep interviewing Thalia and Nico**_

_**Let Thalia and Nico go and interview Piper and Leo**_

Lacey turned to us. "I suppose you want your reward, now."

"I just humiliated myself. Of course I want my reward." Thalia tells her.

"There's a saying 'successful men are always looking for opportunities to help others, unsuccessful men are always asking 'What's in it for me?'' you're one of the successful men who are still asking 'What's in it for me?'"

Thalia frowns. "That made no sense. Why did you quote a saying if you were just going to agree with it."

"Thank you. Here are your ten bucks." Lacey gives us each a ten dollar bill and leaves the room.

**Thanks to the people mentioned in this chapter.**


End file.
